Hey Honey, ready for your first day of school? Oh you’re so big now! A freshman in high school – you know, I was once a freshman in high school. It’s hard to imagine. Your ol’ Mom, a freshman in high school. Now listen, I know you’re a big high schooler now, but don’t go forgetting about your mom and dad. Oh you’re going to make so many new friends! Make sure to smile, and don’t take anything that… Hey, wait, what are those kids doing out there? Why are they –
“Don’t you point that finger at me young man! -”
Where was I? Oh yeah, don’t trust anyone who asks you to join their “gang,” okay? And remember to smile, oh and don’t forget to go up to each and every one of your teachers and say-
“Now don’t you throw that at me! I will call each and every one of your parents and tell them what little heathens they raised myself unless you step away from my – ouch! You could have killed me! What is this? I won’t be able to get this out of my car seats! I hope you’re happy knowing you just committed a federal offense. Destruction of property is no joke young lady. I’ll have to – ouch!-”
Now, definitely don’t get involved with those kids sweetheart. They don’t seem to be very nice. I’m not doing a single thing to provoke them. They think they’re so entitled just because they park here too. Well don’t they know I’m just trying to drop off my sweet boy? I’m simply a hard working mother, sitting here in this parking lot trying to drop off my sweet little angel. My one true passion. My little baby boy. My snugglemuffin. My sweetheart –
“Where are you going? Justin get back here! Oh… oh my… what are they doing. What are those kids doing?! Stop hurting my boy! Stop it! Don’t look at me like that, stop hitting him! No, don’t start hitting the car! Are those… baseball bats?”
I really do not understand kids these days. Jeez. I mean, I come here, hoping to drop off my sweet little man at school and what do I get? Violence! Justin might just have to transfer. I mean there’s no crime in parking in this spot for a few minutes! Like spot #23 is in such dire need. Pfft. They think they know it all. I mean, when I was a kid-
“Justin? Is… Is that you? Where did you get face paint? Why are you… Justin this isn’t you, put down the bat! No! Stop! You don’t even like baseball!”
Has this ever happened to you? If it has, you likely attempted parent pick up in the student parking lot. Don’t be like her. This has been a PSA from the newly formed Cactus Shadows student militia state.